IF BROKEN, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MADE OF

I wrote this poem, A BROKEN SPIRIT, around ten years ago in my mid-20s. My life was very different then, this poem is extremely personal to me and this is the first time I have shared it…

“The freest person in the world is one with an open heart, a broken spirit and a new direction in which to travel”

Poem_Broken

A BROKEN SPIRIT

 

A very adult childhood.

Hurt, anger and confusion that should

Have long gone like the bruises and tears

But on it lingers and eats away, it’s one of my greatest fears.

~

Something has gone inside of me and I’ve yet to get it back

The realisation hits like an all too familiar smack.

What if it never returns, a truly broken soul

The stress and the strain often takes its toll.

~

A life lived seriously, eyes wide open, avoiding games

The hurt turning to anger like uncontrollable, bitter flames

Barriers up, remaining spirit locked safely away

Hard, tough, strong… It’s what they all see, it’s what they all say.

~

Waiting, watching and suspecting

Hurting, breaking and reflecting

No innocent fun, laughter or smile

Just dead on the inside the whole while

~

Will I ever return, will I ever feel alive

Will there be a time when I don’t need to survive?

They broke me, they abused me but I came out fighting

Ultimately they won, the proof is in my writing…

~

Hope, there is still hope and I soldier on

But the belief and optimism is a long time gone

Please don’t let me pay the price for their mistakes

Let the day come where I once again feel genuine, no longer a fake

~

A shell, an empty shell, washed up on the shore

I just know that there has to be more.

All those loyal and loved, gone from reach

One set of footprints, a lonely, weather worn paradise beach…

~

On I’ll walk with vigour, only a trusted few left in my life

I know that they will always be there, when I inevitably get into strife

On I’ll continue to rage my own personal war

Hoping for the day when I have to fight no more.

~

Safe, protected, loved and secure

I have so much to offer and then so much more

But for now it’s gone, hidden away

Kept safe in the depths of my broken heart until that very day.

~

A broken child, a broken adult

A broken heart and a damaged soul

but there is hope,

There is always, always HOPE.