IF BROKEN, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MADE OF
I wrote this poem, A BROKEN SPIRIT, around ten years ago in my mid-20s. My life was very different then, this poem is extremely personal to me and this is the first time I have shared it…
“The freest person in the world is one with an open heart, a broken spirit and a new direction in which to travel”
A BROKEN SPIRIT
A very adult childhood.
Hurt, anger and confusion that should
Have long gone like the bruises and tears
But on it lingers and eats away, it’s one of my greatest fears.
Something has gone inside of me and I’ve yet to get it back
The realisation hits like an all too familiar smack.
What if it never returns, a truly broken soul
The stress and the strain often takes its toll.
A life lived seriously, eyes wide open, avoiding games
The hurt turning to anger like uncontrollable, bitter flames
Barriers up, remaining spirit locked safely away
Hard, tough, strong… It’s what they all see, it’s what they all say.
Waiting, watching and suspecting
Hurting, breaking and reflecting
No innocent fun, laughter or smile
Just dead on the inside the whole while
Will I ever return, will I ever feel alive
Will there be a time when I don’t need to survive?
They broke me, they abused me but I came out fighting
Ultimately they won, the proof is in my writing…
Hope, there is still hope and I soldier on
But the belief and optimism is a long time gone
Please don’t let me pay the price for their mistakes
Let the day come where I once again feel genuine, no longer a fake
A shell, an empty shell, washed up on the shore
I just know that there has to be more.
All those loyal and loved, gone from reach
One set of footprints, a lonely, weather worn paradise beach…
On I’ll walk with vigour, only a trusted few left in my life
I know that they will always be there, when I inevitably get into strife
On I’ll continue to rage my own personal war
Hoping for the day when I have to fight no more.
Safe, protected, loved and secure
I have so much to offer and then so much more
But for now it’s gone, hidden away
Kept safe in the depths of my broken heart until that very day.
A broken child, a broken adult
A broken heart and a damaged soul
but there is hope,
There is always, always HOPE.